Monday, September 3, 2012

Spectator Sports - Science Fair



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           As one of the crowd, I flooded into the Bitec Science Fair. The first things that came into my sight were high ceiling and tall walls that were aggrandizing the stadium. Experiment rooms and shops that were selling toys, books, and other things were in the stadium. I glance at my friend Wonki, who looked disappointed and bored as he scanned through the stadium from left to right. With a sigh, I followed my friends to the deeper part of the stadium. There were so many students from many different Thai schools; they interestingly looked at us speaking English.
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           After a while, I saw my friends stop, and as I followed their eyes, a huge free fall slide beguiled as my friends. The slide was about two to three stories high, and as if to show off its grandiose size, many people were crowded around it. Wonki was gaping at the slide, and Ting-Wei, my other friend, was looking up at a girl on the slide. The girl’s hands were clasping tightly onto the pole. She looked very nervous, but finally she let her hands go slowly, and her body fell straight down. I saw her disappear behind a wall of the slide only about two seconds after she let go of the pole. It looked pretty precarious but fun at the same time. Wonki and Ting-Wei, who were always interested in things like rollercoaster, seemed to try the ‘Free Fall.’ They looked at me as if they were asking for permission and I nodded with a sigh. My friends ran to the end of the line, which many people were already lining up, and looked up at the height of the slide once again in excitement. 
            Suddenly, a bad smell went past in front of me. As I followed the smell, I saw a fat boy eating popcorn. His shirt was very wet from sweat, and he looked like he was having trouble breathing because of the crowd. He pushe dthe people around him, and they winced and stepped away from him. His demeanor seemed so rude that it made me frown too. Soon, he seemed comfortable and walked away toward the huge dinosaur figure which was placed next to the free fall slide. He didn’t have any friend accompanied with him, and he just stood there watching at the dinosaur. I looked at the line for the free fall slide to see my friends, and when I turned my face again to that boy after checking that my friends were still in line, he has already disappeared into the crowd. I do not know why I wanted to keep on spying on him, but I couldn’t find him, and he eating a handful of popcorn, looking up at the dinosaur, was my last view of him. 

2 comments:

  1. Wow! You're really observant with things around you. Your use of vocabulary is really good. I could actually feel as if I was there beside you. Keep it up!

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  2. Well, to say, I think that your essay is very well-written and fluent. However, some of your story is confusing and is not focused. You suddenly talked about the dinosaur guy, which popped out from nowhere. Anyways, you don't have to edit it, it's fine. Moreover, I also like the oxymoron "bad and sweet" smell. However it does not really go together. Maybe you can use other words aside from that. Keep it up! :)

    -Vanantorn S.

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